southeast Alaska soundtrack

When I was a little girl I had a black purse filled to the brim with coins. Sure, it was mostly pennies, but still it was worth loads to me. I was lollygagging down in the harbor, stepping over the cracks in the dock. It was a warm breezy day, Im sure I was daydreaming about what I could buy with my current fortune. Talking with some of the fisherman my dad knew. I liked the way the fisherman tipped their caps to say "hows it going little lady". When suddenly, the strap broke on the purse and before I could grab it, it tumbled into the cold, unforgiving water which snatched it right up. I watched it twirl quickly down to the shallow bottom, spilling copper the entire way.

Those sea stars sure are rich now. I think that was when I decided to be tomboyish. No more silly purses for me. From now on Im gonna live in blue jeans and keep my money at home!

I practically grew up on the beaches and woods surrounding my home. It sure was misleading when the summer clouds didnt tell you it was almost dusk and past the time to go home. I would stay out until I could hear my mother yelling at me to come inside. Oh, and could I ever hear her. I was the kind of child that craved wholeness. Reality. Gravity. Logic. However hard you look; these traits you cannot find in shredded wheat.

Walking the neighborhood dogs to earn honest dollars. Fishing for salmonberries. Erecting forts up in the forest. And little lean tos on the beach. Building places where I could travel to when my heart needed a home. A place where troubles came, and troubles also passed. Where you could find peace, and hide from it as well.

It is happily similar these days too, only now I am allowed to go farther and stay out as long as I like. Searching for my aurora borealis while still I find time to play and be young as well. Being born, rooted, raised, grown and not to mention disciplined here. I like to believe that the people who live in Alaska know all they need is in their soul. For the remainder of you, there is always Walmart.

Feel fortunate if you meet the people who will invite you in, and offer you fresh baked bread, dandelion tea, pickled fish, venison, huckleberry jam, and sit you down with plenty of attention to the woes in your life. And maybe some devils club salve to rub on the delicate bruises. Try to feel here where the air here is thick with friendly. Almost as thick as the herring eggs on that chunk of seaweed they are attempting to get you to taste test.

Take some time to hear the rain reverberating upon a tin roof. We have all heard about the songs that state how you will miss out if you've never kissed in the rain. This aspect is the true southeast Alaska soundtrack, one slow long passionate kiss in the ceaseless rain that exposes you down to your damp, saturated skin.

If you tend to think the dark rainy winter days dismal and expressionless. I have empathy. Leaving great impressions on anyone who has ever witnessed them. Hate it or love it. Im hungry for the ulterior motive of its soppy moisture. There is no need to go outside. Look around you. Curl up and devour a book. Find anything to do that will keep you from doing what you are supposed to do. However keep in mind, imagination is required to become a local in southeast Alaska. They must have somehow forgotten to put that on the permanent fund filing application.

A time comes where you get the urge to tell everyone to just shut their red chapped lips, because somehow, we have gotten to the point of an over articulated existence. Yep. You may not realize it at first. But to someone who knows, those are the times when some precious solitude can be set aside specifically for you. Dont forget to take it.

A mildly comforting sensation invades my bones when I pretend there is no world outside our island. Unless I so choose to crawl out into it. We all want to experience more sometimes. I for one need a vacation now and again. But be wary and tread slow, would not want an overdose of big city civilization. The end result may turn you more solitary than when you started your venture.

Whats best about moving up from the lower 48 is that no one you know lives here. You will hear plenty of these anecdotes depending on which southeast town you are frequenting with a tidbit of bad or otherwise twisted humor thrown in for good measure.

A huge thank you to all the friends I've met who live here. Who chose to make Sitka their home. Without them it would be much much more boring on those mediocre rainy days. And who make the sunny days that much more valuable. Another thank you to the friends who do not wish to make Sitka their home- to whom I go calling on when I need to GET OUT.

I still reminisce about my change on that one summer day that I fed to ANB harbor. Just laying on the bottom somewhere. Maybe I'll go find them and just look at the coins dwindling lazily on the bottom. Because that is what I think about when I think about being Alaskan. Sometimes you have to give up things which are valuable to reside here.

And I must be committed, as I have bought a house!!!!

Stay tuned!!

Window wash for the soul

The Window Through Which We Look

A young couple moves into a new neighborhood.

The next morning while they are eating breakfast, the young woman sees her neighbor hanging the wash outside.

"That laundry is not very clean", she said. "She doesn't know how to wash correctly. Perhaps she needs better laundry soap."

Her husband looked on, but remained silent. Every time her neighbor would hang her wash to dry, the young woman would make the same comments. About one month later, the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash on the line and said to her husband:

"Look, she has learned how to wash correctly. I wonder who taught her this."

The husband said, "I got up early this morning and cleaned our windows."

And so it is with life. What we see when watching others depends on the purity of the window through which we look.

We all do it. Even I get judgmental at times. My window is not always squeaky clean...

But I hate to see people when they take it out on others. Example: Being critical behind someones back or try to get others in a group social situation to take a side even if just for a laugh.

I was at a get together recently, where one guy in particular was "picking" on another. I understand that guys have to do this for whatever reason, but can they not tell when it leaves the boundary of slightly funny and creeps into the really uncomfortable stage? Perhaps its just me that feels uncomfortable.... but somehow I doubt that.

I was not a bully in school, and I dont take to them well now either. But when do you reach the point where you cannot just sit and watch it any longer, where you just just JUST have to say something, anything, without putting that negative attention onto yourself?!

Sadly I now have been avoiding this circle of acquaintances, call me anti social, but I prefer to surround myself with people I enjoy. Who can take my minor judgments and in return I can take theirs.

On another note, my high school reunion is coming up.... over the 4th of July weekend. Im not so sure how I feel about attending, remember how I said I was not a bully in school? Well truth be told I really wasnt much of anything in school. Period. I did what I could to squeak by, not develop any extra unwanted attentions so I could slink home at the end of the excruciating day and wander to the beach or the woods and let my imagination out of its tight little box.

I have definatley gotten out of my "box" since school, but its bringing up some strange emotions. Sigh, I will let you know how it goes.

Signing off (to continue my trip planning to Norway YAY 34 days, the count down is ON!!!!!!!!!)

Diabetes Questionnaire

Hello!

This request may sound unusual (or maybe not unusual at all) but please take some time to answer these interview type questions about me when I was first diagnosed with Type 1 Diabetes. I am working on a project and YOUR feedback would be wonderful! If you don't feel comfortable answering the questions or if they do not apply to you please feel free to leave them blank :)

Any additional thoughts/comments/worries would also be greatly welcomed!!

Interview questions:

1. How do you know Kate Petraborg?

2. What did you think was happening to her in 1990? Could you tell she needed help/that something was seriously wrong?

3. Had you ever heard of Diabetes before she was diagnosed, what did you think Diabetes was?

4.What did you do to help?

5.What scared you the most about her situation?

6. How do you think her parents/friends felt?

7. How do you think it affected her younger brother?

8. Do you think being diagnosed at age 7 was difficult or easier for her to accept than if she learned she had it at an older/younger age?

9. How do you think Diabetes affects her daily life?

10. Do you think living with Diabetes has changed her outlook on life?

11.Do you think she has control over the disease now?

12. Have you ever tried to stop eating sugar? I dare you to try it for 4 days! ;)

Thank you so much for your support (in 1990 AND now!!)


this is just something I recently sent out so by no means do I expect any readers to reply, but of course comments and ideas are always welcome ;)

I hope everyone had a wonderful Christmas!

Jabberwocky

Make sure you always, always, always brush your teeth!!

There is a version of Alice in Wonderland with the character called the Jabberwocky. In the movie you dont ever SEE the Jabberwocky, but oh boy when I was a kid could I imagine it!!! Big, smelly, fire breathing and scaly. Perhaps he could time/space travel, since at any point in time he could show up with his heart pounding theme music.

In fact my mom used it as a effective mechanism to get my brother and I to brush our teeth. Like most kids you see, we liked to procrastinate on brushing our teeth, because then you just know what happens after that- dun dun duuuun: bedtime.

So we would dilly dally, and drag our feet, whine, say we were hungry, you get the drift. So at some point mom came up with the brilliant idea to tell us that if we didnt go brush our teeth this very minute, THE JABBERWOCKY IS GONNA GET YOU! While stomping her feet and banging a spatula (which was a intimidating tool in our house all on its own) against anything for noisy dramatic effect.

We would beat feet down the slender hallway shoving each other out if the way to the sink so the Jabberwocky would not get you (at least before it got your little brother first!) Then sometimes we would stand there out of adrenaline, and just stare into our wide eyed reflections in the mirror.

Most of the time we did not even brush our teeth. We learned to turn the water on for the precise amount of time so mom would not send the Jabberwocky after us again. As a young teenager I realized if there was an actual Jabberwocky, he would have KNOWN we didnt brush our teeth sometimes.......and had we been good kiddos and brushed our teeth regularly the Jabberwocky could have stayed in the looking glass!

It got to the point where the theme music from that part of the movie would ooze into my head, causing me to have difficulty winding down for actual bedtime. I attribute my bed time reading habit (or more than mild obsession as one of my friends calls it) to the Jabberwocky. So here is the utterly inane yet overly analyzed 1871 poem by Lewis Carroll, The Jabberwocky:

“

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. "Beware the Jabberwock, my son! The jaws that bite, the claws that catch! Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun The frumious Bandersnatch!" He took his vorpal sword in hand: Long time the manxome foe he sought— So rested he by the Tumtum tree, And stood awhile in thought. And as in uffish thought he stood, The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame, Came whiffling through the tulgey wood, And burbled as it came! One, two! One, two! and through and through The vorpal blade went snicker-snack! He left it dead, and with its head He went galumphing back. "And hast thou slain the Jabberwock? Come to my arms, my beamish boy! O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!" He chortled in his joy. 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogoves, And the mome raths outgrabe. I Think Im gonna run along and brush my teeth.......I hope you will consider doing the same, teeth health is more important than many realize! Goodnight!

”

conversations that fortune cookies must hear

This may be a fluke but the last couple times Ive been in the Chinese restaurant here my fortune cookie has been freaking me out!!!

Seriously, have you ever gotten 3 fortunes in a row of eating at the same place? And then a 4th one out of sequence but still basically reiterating the same message of the previous encounters. Is it fate? Is it someone standing in the kitchen laughing their butt off at the quizzical expression plastered to your face? Is it a conspiracy? Or do fortune cookies really know things they are not telling us right up front.

Instead they have to hide all these ulterior meanings in crispy little white banner like sayings that you can alter depending on the tone of your mood, if you are feeling serious you can read your fortune with "at work" behind it, or if you are rather feeling a little frisky you can add "in bed" behind the saying (really now admit it we have ALL done this)

Or how about the hypothesis about eating your cookie and saving your fortune if you want it to come true. If it is true and you leave your fortune behind and do not consume the cookie will you have no luck in your favor?

If that is so then my brother and I had no fortunes when we were small. In fact when the older chinese restaurant used to operate in the little cubby hole where this place now resides Im sure they found lots of fortunes when they moved out...... we used to think it was too much fun while the owner (and our mom) was not paying attention to stick our fortunes into the backrests of the overlapping vinyl red cushions that served as the seats. We still ate our cookies though, so maybe luck didnt abandon us entirely.

I'll bet you are wondering what exactly those fortunes read? Well I can tell you because I carry them with me in my wallet. So I can look at them everyday to remind me that things like this do happen. And they can be eerily correct in a very round about way.

#1 you will soon vacation in a place of cool climate
#2 make time for a relaxing vacation
#3 need some adventure and enjoyment? take a vacation

Im not kidding! And last (but not least)

#4 traveling at this time would be a good investment of time & money

Seriously if you doubt me just ask to see my fortunes in my wallet its all spelled out for me! Oh by the way......Im going to Norway in September! Skal!!! (Cheers!)

Intimidation 2009

I am sitting on the edge of our local Swan lake unting my iceskates when I see a rowdy group a kids around the age of 12-13 pushing each other, yelling at each other, even so much as spitting at one another. Geez I think was I ever like this?!!

All of the sudden the young man in the group (the only one in a swarm of girls I realize) yells to me, "Hey dont I know you?!!" And he comes over and plops down next to me on the frozen grass.

I smile at him and say "no I dont think I know you, but do you recognize me from somewhere around town maybe?"

"No, actually I dont know you, but I had to get away from those girls they are being pushy!" He admits sheepishly to me. "Its fun sometimes, but at the same time sometimes its not so much fun." He explains further.

I look toward the girls, "yeah girls can be a little intimidating sometimes." Then think to myself that sometimes we girls can be down right scary but this is the first guy in a while that has used me as an escape, a safe haven almost. That doesnt happen too often I point out to myself.

Do I come across as rowdy, screaming, spitting, freakishly intimidating as these girls were being to this very logical little man? I sure hope not.

Then again, intimidation gives myself a blanket of security from those guys that you need to be intimidating towards. Its finding that balance of the boundary to let the good guys in.

This year is a whole new chance to redefine what other people think about your own intimidation level. Whether it is in a much needed place or if we can make the boards in the symbolic fence stretch a little to let who you do not wish to intimidate through.

And dont worry if you are a good guy: Im not at all like those girls, really I can let you in. And unless you make me really really really mad, I wont spit on you either. :)

Happy New Year!!!!