17 November 2008

Where is my sunshine

Why is dating in Sitka so frustrating?

Well for one thing population could be problem number one, 8,500 people. Divide that in half (only assuming that half the population is male and half the population is female) thats 4,250. Half of that number is most likely kids (under the age of 18) so that brings us to um.... 2,125. My personal estimate out of that number of people who are out of my age range (aka over 35 in my opinion is in a different phase of life therefore surely trouble) is probably divided by 2 once again. Which brings us to 1,062. Out of those 1,062 guys Im going to guess that one out of every 4 already has a girlfriend, wife or significant other. So where in the heck are these 265 guys who are not taken. With my luck out of town in college.

Or worse, problem number two is the ones that are here are druggies, alcholics, or both. The sad statistics of living in a small town on an island. Sigh.

No wonder so many girls in town are scooped up by coast guard guys. Not to put those girls into a category, I mean who wouldnt want a man who has a job, is clean looking, driven, has goals, has had a great education with more possiblities awaiting them? Of course most of these qualities come with the side effect of big ego. No thanks. Not to write all "coasties" of my list, as I am sure there are some great ones out there- but once again my point of they are already taken rears its ugly head once more. Plus moving shop every four years is not exactly attractive to me. Double sigh.

The dating scene here leaves one with something to be desired. Point blank, most people cannot define the word "dating." Here dating turns into something a tad more serious, somewhere along the lines of boy/girl friend and sharing the same straw/schedule/bed within the week of starting to "date." To me dating is simply getting to know one another. With the possibility of more potential as time trots on.

I am in love with living in Sitka. But truthfully it is also a place where loneliness can be an unwanted stalker. No matter how many corners you cut and duck behind, I dont think it grasps that you are trying to be evasive. That you fill up your time with fun outdoorsy stuff, and cooking delicious meals, teaching yourself new and exciting hobbies, maybe even devouring a tasty novel with a nice soothing cup of sugar free hot chocolate.

But the stiffening loneliness is still there, waiting to jump you from behind and suck the potential kisses you could be giving out. Lingering if you even think about snuggliong and curling up with all the warm desires and dreams we seem to develope throughout the bone chilling winter. Finding us while we explore our opportunities to share those delicious meals, to read a story aloud with and to explore a new hobbie or two if time allows. To create our own traditions and smile and giggle and laugh until the sun shows up where you least expect it. To do all the outdoorsy things which make southeast Alaska worth living in.

Dating is still Frustrating. Tell me it isn't wrong to want someone to share all of these unspoken energies with. Tell me it is all worth it. I know my sun is out there.

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